Day 5 It's Official

Today was the official day that Kinley Yayun became the newest Galbierz family member! No pomp and circumstance but just a couple of meetings with Chinese officials agreeing that we will take good care of her. I have heard from other BTDT parents that one of the questions is that if you already have children why would you want any more. I didn't remember that from adopting Liam (let's just say I have forgotten a LOT in the last 3 years). In any case, I always thought of it as simply a question they had to ask to fill it in on their form. We weren't prepared for the look in the man's eyes when he asked it through his broken English. He looked truly perplexed that we have 4 other children and are adding yet another. We presume he is the same guy who asks every family this question and we know of some other families who have adopted 2 or even 3 children to their already large families. Maybe I am over analyzing this?

Our appointment was in the morning which left the rest of our day open. We stopped by a market that housed a grocery on the lower level and a department store on the upper levels. Jenna thus far has been absorbing everything with a somewhat knowing confidence. She has lived this trip through other's experiences and seemed pretty prepared for what she would encounter. However, the smells of a Chinese market are something that cannot be conveyed through other's words. She quickly adapted to what we call the "snorkel breathing technique" but is now forever changed.

In just 24 hours we have seen already some changes in Kinley (we are calling her Yayun-her Chinese name for now). Yesterday I imagine she was most likely in survival mode most of the day. When she woke this morning she looked apprehensive at best but no tears. She let me hold her and just molded herself into my body. After about 15 minutes she sat up and was ready to proceed with the day. She is VERY capable but at the same time we are trying to teach her we are here to meet her needs. She sat between Steve and me at breakfast and enjoyed noodles with pak choy to which she picked out every piece of pak choy LOL. She also enjoyed some fresh fruit and loved the apple juice.

She has been so much more animated today and is either clearly talking to us (google translate is NO where fast enough) or singing. Our jaws dropped when she broke out in the ABC's for her sister on Skype. She has quite the repertoire of songs. If she isn't talking, she is often talking under her breath. She repeats all our names, "mama, baba, jiejie, gege" and will look at each of us as she says them.

The relationship between Kinley and Liam has grown in this short time as well. Yesterday she was less aware of him but today they have been playing together. They have each shared with one another from stringing beads, to snacks and at the Koi pond where they shared crackers to feed the fish. Tonight they took turns on the slide in the play room.

While it is sweet to hear her say our names and to see her share with Liam, we know this is a long journey. She may know the words mama and baba but I don't expect that she understands what those roles mean. More likely is that we are glorified care givers at this time. I imagine Liam seems to be just another child in her orphanage. It will take time and compassion and lots and lots of love for her to understand what a mom and dad can a brother and a sister are. That's okay, we have all of those to offer.

Day 4 In A Moment All That's Been Is Lost In What Will Be

That post title is taken from a favorite Steven Curtis Chapman song
I learned from our first adoption that the only thing anyone wants to read about on this day is meeting Kinley. So just briefly then, the morning was agonizing. One of the sweetest parts of waiting was to see besides how anxious Steve, Jenna and I were was to see how nervous and anxious Liam seemed to be.

We arrived to meet our guide, Rebecca, about 20 minutes early in the lobby. She showed up early as well and told us if we arrived early enough we would see Kinley get off the elevator. The drive to the civil affairs office was probably 15-20 minutes tops. We made some small talk to pass the time but truly watching out the windows at life in China is captivating enough. The walk from the van to the building where we met our daughter takes you down a somewhat dilapidated alley. The few people we passed gave us curious looks but we were too excited to notice much. We had to wait for a few elevators for our turn. The first one we entered was overweight so we had to exit and wait for the next. Our turn came and we rode the plywood lined elevator to the 8th floor where we have seen so many pictures of so many families coming together. That moment and everything else following has been surreal.

We were one of only three other families. A blessing. Some Monday’s there are as many as 60 families meeting their children essentially at the same time. Two of the families were perhaps Dutch and received their small children; one a boy and the other a girl. One family was apparently nervous first time parents and the other had previously adopted a daughter from China. The third family is one I have met on facebook and they along with their 10 (almost 11) year old daughter were adopting a 6 and a 7 year old girl. In that small group were sufficient tears to tear at your heart. Another small blessing is that Kinley was a little late-enough time for some of the heavy sobs from the other children to cease.

We heard the doors of the elevator opening and a little after 2:30 saw a scurry pass us to the children’s waiting room where official documents are checked. Our guide quickly asked for our TA and as fast as that a scared and tearful girl was thrust into our arms. I had started to greet her in the arms of the person who brought her. But that is not how it is done here. She was placed in my arms and the worker quickly went out of sight. Sort of like ripping off a band-aid. When you stop to truly think about it, there is no easy way, no right or wrong way. It is simply hard.

Steve and I brought her to a small bench where we could sit with her and attempt to console her. When we both began crying with her it was clear we weren’t helping. Jenna, worth her weight in gold, reminded us we had toys set aside to distract her. The rest, as they say, is history. Who would think that one small orange toy cell phone would be all that was needed to traverse into the other side. Within minutes of introducing this phone we had smiles. Before the hour was up we had giggles. We played with the Hello Kitty sticker book while Steve got to fill out paperwork and learn more about her routine. It is very evident that the people from Zhuhai care for Kinley deeply. They provided much detail about her routine and her health. We will have the chance to learn more when we visit her orphanage later this week.

The pictures do a pretty good job of showing the emotions. You can gauge Liam’s reactions by the looks on his face…sad, upset and uncertain. Reflecting back we probably spent too much time preparing him for the fun we are anticipating and not enough time on the transition about to take place. While he understands a great deal, how can you explain all of this to a 5 year old?! I am not certain I totally comprehend all of it. Jenna isn’t in a lot of the pictures because she was the woman behind the camera. It is surprising she got any good shots with all the tears in her eyes. She has dreamt of this day and I think it fulfilled every dream. Why do I have a feeling our family will be back to China in some capacity. Steve took on the role of father and protector. He completed the paperwork and diligently asked our questions and took meticulous notes. He once again amazes me at how quickly he falls in love. And I, as I said before, have the feeling this is all surreal. You dream of this day, this moment for such a long time. It just takes a while to come down from the clouds.

Days 2-3 Where's an Air Marshall When You Need One?

Hang on for the story that goes with that question while I share the events of the day that led to that point. Friday all in all went pretty smoothly. We got to the airport after a sweet goodbye with Ryan and grandma/pa. We had checked and double checked the Cathay website and were pleasantly surprised the weight limit was 70#. So when the check in rep said we were over at 55 # (and 61# on our other suitcase) we explained we had checked the website. She said that only applied if we were flying to Brazil?!@# She had no interest in averaging out the weight of all our bags despite my pleas. The overage was going to be $100 per bag. We opted for the cheaper choice and I ran to the gift shop and purchased a reasonably priced bag. The guy running the other check in kiosk helped us and told our check in agent we were good to go! Flight #1 to Chicago was smooth with great leg room. We were anxious to get to the international terminal before we got lunch. Little did we know there was no restaurant and only a sandwich option by doing so. Appreciate Liam’s $19 lunch! Bad choice and lesson learned.

The next leg was on Cathay and going from Chicago straight through to Hong Kong. Liam and Jenna proved to be amazing travelers. Liam was catered to with a package of activities and a kid’s meal that would put McDonald’s to shame in addition to all we had packed. Our seats were 64G, H, J and K. We were a little concerned over the guy in seat 63K (in front of Jenna) as he was ordering beers 2 at a time. He gave the flight attendant a little grief when she only brought out 1 so she obliged and from then on brought out 2. We lost track how many he threw back. Well, it turned out to be the lady in seat 67G we should have been worried about. As we were all dozing around 9:00, we heard some squeals which jostled us awake. That was followed by what sounded like doors slamming and then lots of screaming. We turned to see a lady in the bathroom flailing and fighting with another passenger outside the bathroom. It was difficult to figure out what was going on but later became clear he was interceding somehow. Up to this point we had been commenting how sweet our flight attendants were. They were all Asian and all petite and so sweet. Although they were tall enough to reach the overhead baggage they were not a comfort when they came upon this agitated passenger. That was the time we were hoping a 6’5” strapping air marshall would emerge. Nope. It ended up being several male passengers that subdued her. After about an hour, seats were rearranged and she was somehow connected to the back row. After we landed they asked us to all stay seated while 6 police officers came to greet her along with at least 10 more right outside the doors.

We had no trouble getting our shuttle to the hotel and enjoyed our overnight stay in Hong Kong. We heard in China a ‘twin’ bed is really the size of what we call a full. So in HK, I had requested 2 twin beds. For the record, a twin bed in HK is really a twin size bed. The good news is that we were sooooo tired we all slept well. We enjoyed a little time putzing around Sunday after a delicious breakfast buffet with Celine Dion playing in the background. I don’t’ know why but there is something about Asian culture that really captures me. Trust me, I will be homesick in about a minute but at that moment I started having some honest regrets about taking 2 children away from all of this. This culture has so much history, is so pure and they have so much pride. I know of all these, pride is not an admirable quality but there is still something I find so captivating.

Early afternoon we boarded the train and started for Guangzhou. As we made our way through the countryside and through several cities, it was then I was reminded what a divided nation this is. There is a HUGE discrepancy between the haves and the have nots. The truth is that even most of the “haves” have less than we have. In any case, I was sadly reminded that my children would both have become have nots had they stayed here. That is the tragic truth of the matter.

We were greeted shortly after we were made it through customs (and Jenna’s first squatty potty experience) by our wonderful guide, Rebecca! We enjoyed our time with her this afternoon as she helped us get settled into our hotel. Our hotel is beautiful and the room is perfect (and so are the sleeping arrangements)! We ate a quick dinner out and are more than ready to crash for the night. Rebecca shared that she has met our daughter on 5 different occasions. She went on about how cute and sweet she seems but also how shy she is. She has a favorite ayi and they are very close. That is good news as it shows she has been able to form a healthy attachment after losing her birth parents. But we also know there is a greater likelihood we are going to meet one shy and scared little girl. Please pray for her heart. Pray for her to be able to receive all the love we have to offer her. Liam has talked about her countless times inquiring in his way how much longer. Not much longer Liam, not much longer.

Good night from Guangzhou! Next post, KINLEY!!

Day 1 It's Go Time

Months of praying, months of waiting and months of stalking my email, my mailbox, and my phone are finally about to be put behind us. In a few short hours we will begin our journey to the other side of the world to meet a little girl who has little to no idea of what is about to happen. For all the waiting we have endured and all the anticipation this precious little girl is about to have her life disrupted in a major way. We covet your prayers that God continues to prepare her heart to receive the overflowing love we have to provide her. So as we are about to embark on this journey, I want to share the words of one of our kid's youth pastor. Brian Bennett wrote the following based on the book 'Just Courage'.

"It is a journey we don't have control over. We give control to Christ before we head out, and we give it over to Him again every day. It is a journey that requires deep trust to allow Him to reshape us along the way, trusting that He knows what is best. It is a journey of risk. We risk to forgive, risk to love, risk to see the world around us transformed by God's hope and love. God is calling each of us to go with Him on a journey from the visitor center to the top of the mountain. It's a journey we will never forget and whose beauty we can never imagine. God's promise to us is simple: I will be with you. I will never leave you or abandon you. As you exercise your strength, I will give you more. As you pour out your love, I will refill you. As you trust me, I will deepen our relationship."

It's Go Time!

Loving me some Chick-Fil-A

Seriously, who doesn't love Chick-Fil-A?! Last year we met a family who has now become dear friends. We followed along as they anxiously waited through the adoption process to bring home their daughter LingLi. They shared that Chick-Fil-A will generously support fundraising for adoptive families. We followed in their footsteps and asked our family and friends to come have dinner with us. In the adoption community, there are two somewhat opposite and extreme thoughts regarding fundraising. Many people would share that they are able to meet the day to day needs of an additional family member but are deterred by the 'shipping and handling' expense part of adoption. I would have to say we fall somewhere in between. In this case, I had no trouble inviting our friends and family to eat dinner out!

One ongoing prayer that Steve and I have is that our family is a light to the Lord. For those of you who know Liam, he is of few words but is full of joy that comes bubbling over. We were so moved this particular night as many of the staff from his teachers, many paras, administrative staff and even his private speech therapist came to celebrate bringing Kinley home. It is clear that they have been touched by him in many ways.

When the night was over we left (partly because the tornado sirens were going off) in quite an emotional state. Earlier in the day we had learned our travel approval had been received by our agency. During dinner we knew we were only waiting on the confirmation of our consulate appointment. To have so many people who believe in and support our adoption was powerful. God is good...all of the time.

Goodness of Grandma

Steve's mom and dad clearly love their whole family. They are interested in and involved in all of our lives. When Liam came home in 2010 they lovingly opened up their hearts to their newest grandson. Needless to say, they are smitten with him and the feelings are mutual. Their excitement to become grandparents again matched our excitement to become parents again to Kinley. A few months into the process, Edwina shared what she had been up to. She only learned to knit a few years ago. Over the last several months, she had taken to knitting these super cool scarves and then selling them to whomever was interested. Her desire was to use the money she made to purchase clothing for the children in Kinley's orphanage. WOW! Knock us off our rocker. As I have said before and will say again, there are parts of this journey that there are not words to describe. Edwina's generosity is one such occasion. With her profits in hand she solicited the help of Miss Jenna and the two were off like ladies on a mission. Below is the fruit of their labor.

Her original thought was to ship this but customs has been holding up many items headed to the orphanages in China (another one of those things that doesn't make sense). So, plan 'B' is that we are taking these donations. We have told Liam he doesn't get to ride in the stroller any longer because he has to pull a suitcase!

Bob and Edwina~sporting on of her handmade creations. xoxo